Initial Spark

I had a math tutor to catch me up in my trigonometry course and everything else I gradually had to make up. I was tired all the time but I took myself off the big drugs and convinced myself all I needed was Ibuprofen. Mind over matter. Withdrawals from morphine aren’t that bad right? Wrong….

The Broken Heart

I like to think that I handled it maturely. That August 21 I was scheduled for a bovine valve replacement. My mom joked that the surgery would make me into a real cowgirl-hilarious. My hand still hurt. That summer my mom insisted I get an x-ray and nothing appeared wrong. Finally my dad concluded that…

Foreshadowing

As the summer season ended and I prepared for high school, I started to notice a pain in my hand. It wasn’t like any pain I had experienced before but instead, excruciating. The pain started in the palm of my right hand and shot up into my arm. I would lay in bed at night…

Impending Fate

Have you ever known something was coming to you? Or known that no matter what you did, you’d never be perfect. I’ll start right off by saying I’m broken-not in a depressing emo state. Hear me out. When I was a kid I was convinced I was the Grinch because my heart was three sizes…

This One’s For You

I suppose this is the part where I have to grab you in and convince you that this is worth reading. Well. I’m not good at that. To be completely honest, this took me years to write and even longer to convince myself that my story was worth even telling. It took a whole lot…

Background

Dear nurses of cardiac pediatric intensive care unit at UCSF, My name is E and I was a patient in August 2009. I underwent open heart surgery to replace my pulmonary valve for tetralogy of Fallot and was taken care of by you on the Parnassus campus. I’m writing to you because I’m currently about…