So I Did a Beauty Pageant

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.” -Neil deGrasse Tyson That summer, I took up a job in medical records in my dad’s office where I spent the day in a basement inputting patient’s labs and health history forms. It was a grueling…

Dimestore Cowgirl

Shortly after I was fit for my prosthetic, my mom insisted I participate in the local beauty pageant. Barf. I was drugged up and missing a hand but sure. Why not? At that time I wore my prosthetic daily and was getting used to being stared at by people wherever I went. I stopped caring…

Riding Through the Storm

I returned home to notes covering my bed from everyone in my life. Notes of sympathy, encouragement, admirance. I felt so incredibly loved. The weirdest notes were from people containing gift cards. Sorry you lost your hand to cancer, hope Amazon, iTunes, or Panda Express make you feel better. You could’ve sent me a post…

Sad but Pretty

I went to my winter formal at the time knowing that that Tuesday following the weekend, would forever change my life. I took a bath the Sunday night before we left for UCLA and I looked at my hands. I would never be a neurosurgeon with one hand. My hands were pretty. My mom insisted…

PTSD pt. 1

Let’s talk about PTSD Bay-Bee! Let’s talk about you and me! So. We again, interrupt this blog to write about the current status of the author. Last week I spoke about starting a new job in the emergency room to which I will add, It is amazing! And I’m not saying that at the risk…

Sarcoma.

I volunteer for a children’s cancer camp for an organization that works with families of children battling brain cancers, sarcomas, and leukemia. Each volunteer is assigned a family to counsel for the weekend. It’s in a forest next to the beach where the weekend is dedicated to believing and hoping. The kids get to play…

Impostor Syndrome as a Baby Nurse

We take a minute to interrupt the currently streaming blog to the reality of the author. I have accepted an offer to work as a nurse apprentice until I finish my RN degree. For those of you who are unclear what a nurse apprentice is: they are essentially unlicensed nurses who may perform skills that…

Pancakes

Some of my best memories I have of growing up with my dad are making pancakes. My dad and I were both early risers and found ourselves in the kitchen in the early morning whisking egg whites until they were firm and folding them into batter, only to make the fluffiest pancakes. National Geographic had…

Diagnosis

You know how once you get your life back on track something comes and knocks you down again? Same. Remember that hand pain? Me too. It was still there and getting worse. My dad and I went to a hand specialist in Santa Barbara to have the cyst removed right before Christmas. I was awake…

Initial Spark

I had a math tutor to catch me up in my trigonometry course and everything else I gradually had to make up. I was tired all the time but I took myself off the big drugs and convinced myself all I needed was Ibuprofen. Mind over matter. Withdrawals from morphine aren’t that bad right? Wrong….